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vulnerable [2017/10/16 05:36]
ellenor2000
vulnerable [2017/11/14 05:08] (current)
ellenor2000
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 i don't like how my body appears to be turning into that of a grown man while my mind stays so small and needy... and i've become really aggressive... :( i have a shorter temper than ever before and i hate that... i really hate being able to hurt people... rrgghhhh... i don't like how my body appears to be turning into that of a grown man while my mind stays so small and needy... and i've become really aggressive... :( i have a shorter temper than ever before and i hate that... i really hate being able to hurt people... rrgghhhh...
 +
 +=== reinhilde really hates doing things for her husky... but she has to publish this... ===
 +
 +20171111-03:​25:​27.svt ​
 +
 +Tucked away, in the back of my imagination,​ is an idyllic land. No one there has to grow up if they
 +don't have to. The last world war was fought over improperly prepared bacon and the death count was
 +equally small (at 0). In this dreamy land, you top out at a height you can cope with being, and you
 +don't have to have a body of the wrong gender. And you're treated like a little puppy if you need to
 +be. The scenery is vast, and impressive, but not imposing.
 +
 +In it, I'm still a kid. And everyone pets me and holds me and calls me "lil cutie girl."
 +
 +Too bad it's just dreams and daydreams.
 +
 +Because I really need to be a cute little kid again.
 +
 +Can't a little husky pup just have her glory days back?
 +
 +All this hate, resentment, worry, pain... Tears me apart...
 +
 +I wanna be a sweet and innocent little husky girl...
 +
 +I wanna be a smiley little cutie pie...
 +
 +I overeat because at least food is guaranteed to make me a bit happy... But eating too much makes
 +you fat... and I weigh 135+ kg. I just wanna be a tiny little cutie pie... but I'm tall, wide, old,
 +wrinkly, resentful, hateful, angry, unstable... this just isn't me... I'm supposed to be a fluffy
 +little puppy... Always happy, always forgiving, always a good girl for my friends, always nice to
 +cuddle... I wanna be so cute and innocent, and not so smart that I get resentful of everyone and
 +angry at everything... I wanna be ticklish and soft, not corrosive and stiff... I want my childhood
 +back... I need my childhood back... I'll do anything for a fleeting moment of immaturity, of
 +emptiness, of naïveté...
 +